Yup, it was in my vows. It is in the Bible.
"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,because we are members of His body.For this reason a man should leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-6:9Too many today, to either avoid breaking the vow or out of following the worldly advice, do not have "obey" in their vows. It is not a word we like. Submit, obey, gives us a bad feeling. Most of us are independent, have a brain and think it means we can't use it.
Not So! We are to obey and submit, but he is to love. Someone who is loving and you know has your best interest at heart is much easier to submit to.
Look at the verses. We are to obey our husbands as we do the Lord. He is to love us like the Lord loves. WOW! We both have tough jobs that really can't be done on our own. He must depend on God to love us that way and we must depend on God to obey.
It is only through drawing near to God and work on loving our husbands that we can be submissive. I have a loving husband and most of the time do not have a huge problem submitting. We talk things over and I give my thoughts, or Scripture or desires and he gives his. Most of the time we come to agreement, and very often it is he seeing I was right. He is not a "pansy". If we have a real disagreement I submit to him.
It is our husbands who will face the Lord someday for how they treat us, but we will face Him for our submission. God will also bless us for submitting. However, watch your attitude!! If you are like me there are times that I give in with a grumbling heart. This is not submission! Submission is to humbly and lovingly let him make the decision because it is not only in submission to him, but in submission to God.
Like the cartoon above, I have seen marriages where the man thinks he is the boss. His wife is the peon slave. Not so ! When God said that he will make a "helpmeet for Adam" He meant a helper fit for Adam. Someone to walk by him and help him. A tyrant boss is hard to help. If you are in a marriage like that, pray for your husband. Do not pray with the attitude that he needs to change for you, but, rather, that he should change to please to Lord. Ask God to show you how to be the wife he needs to reach him. This will take changing on your part too.