Oh Poor Me

Friday, November 9, 2007

For "richer or poorer". Do you know what couples fight about the most and split up over? Money. Yup, for some reason so many of us marry with "happily ever after" in our minds and that means no money problems as well.

Not that many years ago people married knowing they would need to struggle. The poorer part was a given. You started out, worked, saved sacrificed for the things you needed and wanted. Nothing was handed to you for the most part, you did not have credit cards to get what you want, you worked and saved and sacrificed. There were not as many divorces back then either.

My husband and I had not money when we married. We married, did without, started out with a chair from here, a part of a sectional for a couch, my old trunk for a coffee table. Our bedroom set was old that was being parted with by a relative. The kitchen table came from somewhere else and some things were even garbage picked from off the street.

We did not have to have the newest nor the best, but felt fortunate to have anything. There was no credit cards to lull us into thinking we could afford anything different.

Our car as was old one that I had bought, from there we went to older that we could dig up and would go. Rarely were we ever broke down on the side of the road and the one time we did have problems were exciting and provided something to laugh at in later years.

Poorer was real.

Richer not even imaginable. However, to us it did come when my husband got a good job while in seminary. We actually made over 6,000 that year (1974). (Man we were rich!)

Today people thing they need to start out with it all, they already have credit card debt entering a marriage and then they add more. No wonder the marriage has a struggle. You can't go on accumulating debt and feeling rich when you are actually in way over your heads. Marriages split, or are miserable to say the least.

My suggestion is to sell, get rid of, pare down and pay off with what you make. There are thrift stores, freecycle, sharing in giving and other places to find used and cheap furniture and items.

Be frugal, do not let money come between you and your spouse. Live cheap and expect the poorer. For some frugal ideas check out Biblical Womanhood. She has a lot of her own plus other people list theirs on Frugal Friday.


Mrs. G said...

This is so true. So many of my friends think they can start out with what their parents have now. They seem to forget it took their parents years to get there. It's part of the entitlement generation, I believe. It's much easier to start out with less and be able to move up someday, than to start out with a lot and have to cut back.

Jes said...

It's hard not to get caught up in the "having it all attitude" when so many around you are living like this.
My husband and I sit on lawn chairs instead of a couch. So when we go over to friends houses (friends that are our ages) and see matching furniture we feel like we are less. Like we should have what they have.
Truth be known, most of them don't really "own" that furniture. They just have it and are actually paying interest on it. By the time it's paid off they will probably be wanting a new one.
It's amazing to me how we manage to get furniture- most of it for free from other people. And it's beautiful! You should see pictures of the HUGE solid OAK dinning room table and chairs that was GIVEN to us.

The Homeschool and Etc. Blog said...

Yep, our children dress in thrift store clothes, but we're trying to pay down the house.

It isn't easy when we see that my son's surgery costs $17,000. Grant you after insurance we'll probably pay about $6,000 but it's still a good chunk of money esp. with a baby coming in February. You just can't budget for stuff like that for the *most* part ... we don't really want to dip in to our limited "just in case D loses his job" fund, you know.

I think a lot of this stuff about being poorer is also us not seeing what our parents spent on our healthcare and shoes... not understanding the idea that when you buy the new shoes you don't get the restaurant meal that month kind of thing. We would just know when our parents were being mean and nice LOL!

At least that's how I see it.

Keep writing, Peggie! You are a great source of encouragement!

Mrs. C

Email Me