Fun Christmas Shopping

It is that time of year again! Money is short and sometimes you feel like you need to chose between bills and kids or, worse yet, paying with a credit card and making more bills.

Growing up my family was poor. My parents had little money to buy presents and sometimes we thought we were getting nothing until the last minute. There were 8 of us kids and my parents had it rough.

My dad and mom figure out a plan that was so good we used if a number of times with our kids. They purchased stocking stuff and a gift and gave us each $15 ( a lot for them) and took us to the store Christmas eve. We went nuts trying to decide what we wanted for our money. We could buy it Christmas eve, but could not use it till Christmas day when we found it under the tree along with the present they got us and our stocking. They had a good time watching us shop and it sure made that money seem like a lot more since the stores marked things down on Christmas eve. I can remember having something in hand and then hearing what I had marked down so I could go get something else too.

Younger kids could even shop in a thrift store and be happy!

Christmas can be worked and fun even if you have little money. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Be creative!

More frugal ideas can be found at Biblical Womanhood.

Can't beat em join em!

Many yeast ago I had , what was to me, a major problem. My late husband had a hobby that would keep him up half the night. He would yell and scream while he was doing it and I would lay in bed yelling and screaming inside.

This would go on until 2 or so in the morning, most nights and days off.

What was he doing? Playing Strat-O-Matic baseball. Now you play it by computer, back then it was cards. All the players stats are on the cards, you roll the dice and if the red came up 1,2,3 you were on the hitters card and 4,5,6 it was the pitchers card. The two white dice combined where the number under the column (1,2,3 4 etc). Hard to explain, but easy if you had the cards in front of you. Strat-O-Matic makes each players cards to their real life stats.

He was in two leagues at the time. They have their own draft and make up their own team names and played by mail back then. You sent your instructions to the guy you were playing the series with and he sent his to you.

It was, at the time, a hobby that was dividing us.

One night I was in bed grumbling away and praying about it at the same time. God answered with one phrase "If you can't beat em join em. I went downstairs and sat down and told my husband I would manage the other team. I did not know the instructions, nor what things meant but he helped me. After I was winning every game, he gave me his team to manage!

It did not take long for me to not mind the game and it actually brought us together!

If there is a hobby that is dividing you and family, get them to join, or ask him if you can join. I showed interest, tried to understand and then joined. It sure worked for me!

Honor your husband

I seem to have "forgotten" something in the vows. Honor. It is a word we do not use towards our spouses. We use it for soldiers (unless we protest the war) we use it for kids "honor your father and mother" but do they know what it means? Usually we are telling them to make them obey. We want companies to honor our coupon, or a sale, or their return policy. But what does it really mean and what does it have to do with our spouse?

Again, I go to Mr. Webster:

synonyms honor, homage, reverence, deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition . homage adds the implication of accompanying praise. reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe. deference implies a yielding or submitting to another's judgment or preference out of respect or reverence .

Reverence? Honor? Me? To him? yup! Some may be smugly thinking "man I am glad I did not have that in my vows." Problem is, it is what God expects of us also.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1Peter 3:7

Honor all people, ( yup, your husband is a person!)love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:17

You know what I found? I would go to church women's meetings and most would start with gossip, from there it would go to the bad things that their husband does. This would then be gossiped by the rest of the people there. Everyone would "help" by telling them what they should and should not do because their husband does such and such or else it was like a "who can top this" time where people the women would really get going about how bad their husband is. My husband was pastor of five churches over his 30 years in the ministry. I would go to the women's meetings and end up trying to change it and finally giving up and not going any more. It was supposed to be a church women's group, or women's missionary group and was just a gossip and husband bashing with some Bible and how to help the missionaries in between.

Then there are the women who down their husbands, in public and to their face. "I told you not to do that" or "why do you always..." etc.

Honor? Respect? Reverence? I think not!

Think about things you say to and about your husband. In honoring and respecting him you are also honoring and reverencing the Lord. It will have a major impact on your husband and for the Lord. It is not the way the world thinks, but it is the way God wants us to live. Like love, it is not a feeling, it is a decision to do, an action. Not because we may want to, but because it is right.

Till death do us part

I do hope you all had a great thanksgiving and remembered to thank the One Who has given you all things.

This post was to be up long ago today. Instead I have been trying to get up a sign up for a newsletter. I spent all day on it and still do not have it working. Frustration!

Today I have been thinking a lot about my family. I have four kids in Maine, all grown, married and parents. My oldest son has four kids, the next one down has two. My oldest daughter has two step kids and the middle daughter has five kids. All of them live in Maine. My youngest lives in North Carolina and she,too, is married and has one child. My husband's three kids are all in Texas and close. They are married and each have one child and one has a second due in March.

For me holidays are hard. I love all my children, step and ones I gave birth too. It is hard being away from most of them all the time. Money limits my seeing the ones not in Texas. Birthdays and holidays make things so hard.

One thing though, I have a wonderful husband who understands my feelings and hurtings. He loves me dearly as I do him. When I think of our vows I feel the better and I feel the worse in being away. His home was in Texas, mine was with my family. He owned his home, I was a vagabond of sorts. Moving here had it's heartaches and still does at times. However, I know I married the man God chose for me and that it is till death do us part.

So many think it is till they get tired of each other, or someone better comes along or they do not want to be married anymore. Death do us part is as long as we are living on this earth.

God does have some exception. Adultery is a reason that a marriage can be broken up and the other person have the right to remarry. However, it does not mean they have to leave the offending spouse. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing if the person means it and regains the trust and respect by proving their apology.

I also believe that abuse needs to mean a separation for the safety of the abused party. If the abuser gets counseling and is healed, than the reconciliation should happen.

Till death do us part is a wonderful promise when you are married. It is a security that living together can't give, If you are not yet married, pray for the man you will marry and that God will bring him into your life. Pray for God to direct you both and for the assurance to both of you that this is the one.

I am so happy with Rick. God led us together and gave me the assurance that even though it was a move to Texas he was the man I should marry.

Pray Pray Pray!!

Getting kids to pick up their stuff

Today is Works for Me at Rocks in My Dryer. I would like to offer you something that worked for me when my children were school age.

I do not know about yours, but my kids were rather sloppy. They came in from school and set their coat, shoes, books etc all over the place. Then the toys came out and they were all over making it difficult to walk anywhere.

Time out, spanking, yelling, sending them to their rooms etc, nothing worked. I still ended up picking everything up.

My husband and I decided to try to teach them something about life and responsibility. I bought several baskets and when they would not clean up and I had to everything of theirs went into the baskets. Since my time is worth something and they were being irresponsible we would not let them just have their item back. They had to pay .25 a piece per item or do a job per item. In the beginning they thought we were going to give in, they grumbled because they needed that book for homework, or the jacket since it was chilly outside etc. I did not give in!

Soon there was not as much left lying around the floors, chairs, doors etc. It worked for me!

That Dirty Four Letter Word

OBEY!

Yup, it was in my vows. It is in the Bible.

"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,because we are members of His body.For this reason a man should leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-6:9

Too many today, to either avoid breaking the vow or out of following the worldly advice, do not have "obey" in their vows. It is not a word we like. Submit, obey, gives us a bad feeling. Most of us are independent, have a brain and think it means we can't use it.

Not So! We are to obey and submit, but he is to love. Someone who is loving and you know has your best interest at heart is much easier to submit to.

Look at the verses. We are to obey our husbands as we do the Lord. He is to love us like the Lord loves. WOW! We both have tough jobs that really can't be done on our own. He must depend on God to love us that way and we must depend on God to obey.

It is only through drawing near to God and work on loving our husbands that we can be submissive. I have a loving husband and most of the time do not have a huge problem submitting. We talk things over and I give my thoughts, or Scripture or desires and he gives his. Most of the time we come to agreement, and very often it is he seeing I was right. He is not a "pansy". If we have a real disagreement I submit to him.

It is our husbands who will face the Lord someday for how they treat us, but we will face Him for our submission. God will also bless us for submitting. However, watch your attitude!! If you are like me there are times that I give in with a grumbling heart. This is not submission! Submission is to humbly and lovingly let him make the decision because it is not only in submission to him, but in submission to God.

Like the cartoon above, I have seen marriages where the man thinks he is the boss. His wife is the peon slave. Not so ! When God said that he will make a "helpmeet for Adam" He meant a helper fit for Adam. Someone to walk by him and help him. A tyrant boss is hard to help. If you are in a marriage like that, pray for your husband. Do not pray with the attitude that he needs to change for you, but, rather, that he should change to please to Lord. Ask God to show you how to be the wife he needs to reach him. This will take changing on your part too.

Cheap Dates

I am playing along with Biblical Womanhood and frugal Friday. I would like to keep this in tune with the purpose of my blog and helping us all be the wife and woman we are to be.

Over the years I have learned ways to have cheap dates with your spouse. I would like to share some of these ideas with you. If there are any men reading this, you can do these too!

I love surprises and I like to have surprises for the ones I love as well. It seems like so many things take so much money and that is discouraging when you are broke or trying to pay things off.

Here are some things I found:

• Leave special notes around, in the lunch bag, on the mirror, on the pillow etc. You can make it like a treasure hunt or just do it for fun. It can be hints about the special dinner you are having, whatever, be creative.
• Plan a late dinner after the kids are in bed. Make it special with candles, your best dishes etc. It does not matter what you serve, even leftovers or a sandwich. What makes it special is the atmosphere and the kids in bed!
• Go for a ride to a close but favorite spot. A park, in town to walk around, some town you have not seen before. I love doing this, I know the gas prices make this not do cheap, but I still love it. I moved to Texas just under two years ago, so there is so much I have not seen. This town for instance. It is a little over an hour away, but so quaint. The store was also the restaurant and a sporting goods place!
  
  
• Learn a craft or hobby together. You can teach each other something if you each have your own crafty things you do.
• Walk around a mall and people watch. Do you know how entertaining that can be?
  

I am sure you can come up with many more if you think about it. I would also be interested in any ideas you have. Check back at Biblical Womanhood for some more ideas in being frugal.

Love

"To love ..." We all have our ideas on love. I love my dog. I love Law and Order. I love the ocean. I love my car and I love my kids. I also love my husband. Different loves.

When the Bible speaks of the love between a husband and wife it is an action word. It is not the mushy gushy feeling you have for the person. Emotions and mushy gushies come and go, but love lasts.

When we promise to love we are promising action; nurturing, cherishing, kindness and putting the other one first.

God is love, we love because of God's love. Without Him it is very hard to keep love going. It is hard anyway! I mean, what couple really has perfect harmony with out a lot of effort and prayer?

Rick and I get along well, I prayed much before we ever married so some things just work. However, we both have to overlook faults with the other and do a lot of loving actions. Some may feel this is hypocritical. However, since love is an action, not a feeling, the action will bring about the feelings if it is done with the right attitude.

What happens when you get on edge with each other? What steps can you take to be loving?

• Cool off yourself. For me, sometimes the cooling off comes by doing something when I do not want to. If we are of different opinions about something and get into it, sometimes just doing something nice for him or something he has wanted ( like the pants he likes that popped a button the last time he wore it..2 months ago) I will fix the pants, make a special treat etc. I cool off knowing I am doing something for him, and he cools off getting the special treatment. We are then free to talk things over.
• Take a walk. If you opt for taking a drive, be sure that you are not so upset that you are not safe on the road. If you drive, get him/her a treat if you can.
• Take a shower or bath. Somehow it just relaxes
• Do not come at each other with negatives, sarcasm or threats. This will not build love and will destroy what you want as goal, even if at that moment it seems like what you want to do.
• Pray! I walk and pray, or do things and pray. It helps me get my perspective back and gives me ideas for showing the love I need to be showing.
  

Love, it is a beautiful thing. It is a commitment to the other person that you will be there doing for them no matter what. It is a bond. I find love can be so easy, yet there are times when it is stretched. However, if we go into the marriage knowing that it is for life and that the mushy gushy may come and go, since it is not love, love will last. Love is a decision we make and an action we take.

One caution here. If you are being abused or your children are, you need to get out and get help/ I am not saying divorce, I am saying help. We love, but sometimes love needs to make the other person responsible for what they are doing and give them the option to change. This is a hard decision, but out of love you need to do something to make them face up to it. The marriage can go on and be loving if you get help. Abuse is not love, nor is putting up with it dangerously.

You don't need the sugar

In my previous post I mentioned that when my first husband became diabetic we all ate the way he had to. I used very little sugar and more whole grains. My kids got used to being a fairly sugar free house for many years.

One thing I did do was make everything from scratch. My sweet stuff used applesauce, pineapple or some other crushed fruit. For pancake "syrup" I took fruit that was in fruit juice and put it in the blender. It poured nicely and went on the pancakes, waffles or french toast as good as syrup and tasted better.

For birthday cakes or once in the while cookies I used 1/2 or less of the sugar the recipe called for. Believe it or not, they taste as good or better without all the sugar. I often would use some whole wheat pastry flour also instead of some of the white.

If a member of the family can't have the sugar (or another item) I felt it best to keep the family as close to that diet as we could. One daughter was highly allergic to milk. I made my pancakes etc with a juice instead of milk. The family particularly liked pancakes with orange juice instead of milk.

One does not need to be sick to make the substitutes. Cutting down on sugar is better for all of us, as well as adding more whole grains. Give it a try! It works for me!

Sickness and Health

Sickness. It comes to all of us at one time or another. Maybe all minor things, injuries, flu's, colds etc. but sooner or later there will be something more than the minor. Old age hits and we slow down even more (at least most of us!).

I have been shocked over the years of the number of marriages that broke up over sickness. Someone comes down with something serious and the spouse takes off, has an affair or just walks out on the sick person. Promises were made, but abandoned because the bad came.

For me, I can speak from experience about sickness. One year after I married my husband became diabetic. It was hard to accept, but once we did we worked together. You see, the sickness is not just one person's problem. Becoming one flesh, means that the spouse's illness becomes your struggle too. For us, we decided that the family was going to eat one meal. I would make his diet and we would eat his diet. For years I did not use more than 5 lbs of sugar in a year, and that was for cookies at Christmas or kids birthday cakes.

Back then you did not have blood tests at home, so you had to watch your urine. The sugar was slow to register, so ups and downs were more unpredictable. I learned how to tell if he was low and to care for it.

In 1995 he had a heart attack at age 46. He lay in the CCU for 3 weeks not knowing if he will make it or not. Our lives really changed at that point. Doctor errors caused his kidneys to stop and his heart to drop down to hardly working. The next 4 years were filled with care giving and the stress of knowing he could drop dead at any moment.

Sickness. It may not come as it did to me, but I can't imagine someone having their spouse walk out on them at that time. My heart was so filled with love and compassion on my husband that being there and being all I could be was not just a matter of a vow, even though that was important, but a matter of love.

Health is easy to take, but when you are committed to your vow and your love, sickness is much easier to handle.

Pray for your commitment to deepen and your love to grow.

God Bless America

Oh Poor Me

For "richer or poorer". Do you know what couples fight about the most and split up over? Money. Yup, for some reason so many of us marry with "happily ever after" in our minds and that means no money problems as well.

Not that many years ago people married knowing they would need to struggle. The poorer part was a given. You started out, worked, saved sacrificed for the things you needed and wanted. Nothing was handed to you for the most part, you did not have credit cards to get what you want, you worked and saved and sacrificed. There were not as many divorces back then either.

My husband and I had not money when we married. We married, did without, started out with a chair from here, a part of a sectional for a couch, my old trunk for a coffee table. Our bedroom set was old that was being parted with by a relative. The kitchen table came from somewhere else and some things were even garbage picked from off the street.

We did not have to have the newest nor the best, but felt fortunate to have anything. There was no credit cards to lull us into thinking we could afford anything different.

Our car as was old one that I had bought, from there we went to older that we could dig up and would go. Rarely were we ever broke down on the side of the road and the one time we did have problems were exciting and provided something to laugh at in later years.

Poorer was real.

Richer not even imaginable. However, to us it did come when my husband got a good job while in seminary. We actually made over 6,000 that year (1974). (Man we were rich!)

Today people thing they need to start out with it all, they already have credit card debt entering a marriage and then they add more. No wonder the marriage has a struggle. You can't go on accumulating debt and feeling rich when you are actually in way over your heads. Marriages split, or are miserable to say the least.

My suggestion is to sell, get rid of, pare down and pay off with what you make. There are thrift stores, freecycle, sharing in giving and other places to find used and cheap furniture and items.

Be frugal, do not let money come between you and your spouse. Live cheap and expect the poorer. For some frugal ideas check out Biblical Womanhood. She has a lot of her own plus other people list theirs on Frugal Friday.

Today I ask you

Works for me Wednesday over at Rocks In My Dryer is having a backwards day. Instead of me telling you what works for me, I am asking you for some help.

As you can tell with this blog I am trying to help us work towards becoming the woman of God we were meant to be; the mothering God's way and being the wife that is all God wanted. Some of you may have read From My Heart in my other blog, this blog is a result of that burden.

I do not claim to have the answers, but I will work on getting them if I do not. Believing the older Christian women are to teach the younger, as in Titus 3:5, I am trying to fulfill this command.

I need some basis to go with and want to ask you what questions you have, problems you have or concerns in life as a mother and wife. Read Titus 3:5 on the sidebar, what are the things that give you the most trouble in doing? (There are 7 listed) Are there any other questions about family, womanhood, being a wife that you have?

You may answer anonymous if you want, I am looking for help as to what problems, questions or struggles you are having.

Thank you!

For more normal Works For Me questions go back to Rocks In My Dryer!

For Better or Worse

Wow, here it is Tuesday already and I am behind in my posting. I seem to be having a lot of "One of those weeks" lately. How about you? Seems things just are too busy, stressed, plans made and then you can't follow through because of the fires that pop up and need to be cared for immediately. They can sure put a stress on your life, marriage and family.

Our vows say "for better or worse". DO you sometimes feel the worse out weighs the better? It may not even be a problem between you and your spouse to begin with, but rather life. Life happens. Plans get all bummed up. The past may come in to haunt us, an accident may happen, sickness, things just unseen ahead of time.

My first husband and I had a good relationship. Great in fact! Yet when we married he was in school and it was rough. I planned on working him through college and seminary before we began our family. HAHA Our first was due on our first anniversary. We had decided I would be a stay at home mom when the children arrived, and now we were being tested. He made $30 a week at a part time job while going to college. I had been supporting us. Ut oh, some "worse" was happening! We kept with our decision and trusted the Lord. He supplied in ways I never thought possible.

By the time seminary was over we had 4 children, no money but God had cared for us. We did not live on welfare, yet had our needs supplied. However, we had also gone through sickness where he lost a year of seminary, layoff at his job and had no income till he found another and numerous other "worse".

I could go on as to the "worse" we had to deal with over the years until his death, but it was a lot of sticking to the vows and not to feelings.

I am now remarried and there are different kinds of things to deal with. To me living in Texas is a "worse". I am away from family, it is not very pretty, there are rattlesnakes and all kinds of things that bite or stick you. (On the other hand no snow to deal with!). I have a husband that had been married before and divorced. He has his past and it is now part of me to deal with. Some of the worse most would think. I have to deal with an ex on a weekly basis. Our plans get interrupted because of his past family. (Lest you think he has young children, he does not, they are all married and have families). We still have to deal with it as well as other things. He came with baggage, I come with baggage and this is part of the worse.

Finances, living conditions, anger, loss of job, loss of a child, many things come under the worse banner. I also find the "worse" is different for different people. You may love Texas with it's rattlesnakes and heat, for you that may be a better, for me it is a worse.

One thing I want to say, and I know many may not agree, part of the worse that you are vowing to should not be abuse. Today there is so much abuse. Maybe it has not changed, we are just more open to talk about it, but I believe it is more. Drugs, drinking, selfcenteredness and sin in general has made abuse so common. Having your life in danger by a spouse is not part of the vow. I believe it calls for a separation and counseling if the spouse is willing to go, or you go alone if not. If your life is in danger, get out. If your kids are being abused, get out.

Better or Worse. We all want the better and dream of the better, but every life has it's worse times too. Plan on it coming.

One thing to those who are not married yet. I watch some of the court shows on TV. I have them going while I am doing things. Not sure why I do, maybe because I find it so hard to believe that there are people out there like the ones on these shows, yet they are real people. In my mind crazy much of the time, but real. There are a couple of these judges that really impress me. One professes his Christianity without shame. I enjoy him, as he can be really harsh, but usually tries to be fair. Another one is divorce court. I do not sit in front of this taking in everything, however, that judge is so concerned about these people and seems so wise.

She made a statement to a couple that only dated about a week before marrying. Her warning and advice was to all those thinking of marriage. She said : Make a list of your prospective spouse and write down 10 things you do not like about that person.

I thought that she was being strange at first, but then listened. She said if you do not know 10 thinks that are negatives you do not know them well enough to marry. Everyone has 10 negatives... at least.

Then look at your list. Can you live with those negatives? Be they personal, his/her family, his/her habits etc. Can you live with them if they NEVER improve?

For better or worse. Believe me, the worse will come. Stick with your vows and turn the worse into something to bring you closer to each other.

Time with your kids

One thing I love is cheap stuff for the grandkids to do. Right now the granddaughter I watch is too young for this, but when I had the older ones it was a favorite.

Coloring pages! Just like a coloring book, but you can find just the one you want and print it out and they can have fun coloring. I think there is as much pleasure in picking out the picture and there is in the coloring.

Since I think a parent, grandparent or guardian should spend as much time as possible with the children I had as much fun helping them find pictures as they did finding them.

I want to share with you some of my favorite places for digging up coloring pages.

• Christian Answers.net
• The Coloring Spot
• Spiffles
• Resources for Christian Teachers
• Free n Clear

There are more, and a few you need to pay for, one of which is The Coloring Book Pages

The internet holds so many things for you to do with your child. Coloring pages are fun and we are never too old to color!

Spend time with your children and grandchildren. Love is an action, and they learn it by us spending time with them.

For other frugal ideas for your home, check out Biblical Womanhood.

Wedded

We looked at the vow we make at our wedding ceremony in a previous post and today I would like to look at some of the promises we made when we were making that vow. Wedded husband, wedded wife. I thought about this and wondered why we say that, of course we are marrying them and this is a wedding, seems so obvious to me. I looked up the etymology of the word "wedded". Here is what I found:
Wedded:

Middle English wedden, from Old English weddian; akin to Middle High German wetten to pledge, Old English wedd pledge, Old High German wetti, Gothic wadi, Latin vad-, vas bail, security.

Pledge seemed obvious, but Bail? Security? What is bail? Again I went to the dictionary and found out it is

to remove from danger or harm "the government bailed out the savings and loan industry".

In marrying someone and pledging our vow to be their wedded husband or wedded wife we are also saying we are their bail, their safety net. I must admit there is much security in having someone going through life with you. When you are down, usually they are there to help you up, and vice versa. We are pledging our support, our becoming one with this other person and to be there for them no matter what happens.

Wedded, even the word itself says a lot about the strength of the vow we are making.

Next we see : to have and to hold from this day forward.

Have.I have a computer, I have a pen, I have a husband. But wait! It is more than that. Again, I consulted Mr. Webster:

a: to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement
b: to hold in one's use, service, regard, or at one's disposal
c: to hold, include, or contain as a part or whole

Simple word like have, and look what is involved! We are vowing that we are their possession and they are ours, we will be at their disposal and they at ours. YIKES! What are we getting ourselves into?
Wait! it gets better, we not only say "have" but we say "and to hold"

Hold:
a: to have possession or ownership of or have at one's disposal
b: to have as a privilege or position of responsibility
c: to have as a mark of distinction

There are some of the same ideas with have and hold, but one is reinforcing the other in the strength of the pledge.

I want to say something here, to have at ones possession or disposal does not allow for abuse, but rather a unity. We will look at more of the pledge and especially of love itself in a future post, but I do not want anyone to think that because your husband or wife made a pledge of marriage to you that you have the right to be bossy or abusive (physically or emotionally).

It is a marriage, a becoming one flesh as God put it, a unity. I am hoping that we can all strive for that unity, a God centered marriage and family.