My husband is singing my praises

It is not my birthday. Not our anniversary. Not his birthday. I did not make his favorite meal. Did not let him have the remote (well, I did, but he always has it). So why is he praising me?

My life is lived in prayer asking God to make me the woman I am meant to be. The wife fit for him.

So, why today? He is always loving, kind, affectionate. He always brags about me. Why more today? Why more hugs? More praises? What brought this on?

We went to church. Rick is the building administrator for a church and this means we need to be there early. Part of his job is getting everything ready, making sure everything is working, heat/air is right and no one has made a mess that requires last minute clean-up. He needs to clean the pulpit as it is a Plexiglas and shows every finger print so this is always a last minute job.

My part on Sunday is to make the coffee that is out for everyone and to set out the communion.

We were both busy at work when a man came in. He works with the video equipment and always comes shortly after we do. He went to do his work and about 20 minutes later his wife came in. She plays the piano and comes early for the praise team practice.

What does all this have to do with my husband? Why did he suddenly come in the kitchen loving me and praising me to others?

Mr. X was told by Mrs. X that he did not do his job that morning before he left and he had to go home and make the bed. Rick heard that, I heard Mr. X come in the kitchen for coffee and announce he had to run home to do his husbandly duty and he was just told about it. Later my husband told me what happened, and announced that he was so glad I was his wife!

Any of you that read my blog know that I promote the husband is the head of the home and wives are to not be the ones wearing the pants. We have no right to order our husbands to do anything. Husbands are to be loving, wives to submit when there is a difference of opinion.

This incident reminded me of how messed up our Christian marriages have become . I am not going to repeat previous posts about husband/ wife relationships, but I want to add to what has been written.

My husband was praising me, being affectionate, bragging about me "in the gates" all because I was letting God work in me. He appreciates me. He does things for me. He lets me have say in things and often agrees with me. Not because I make him, but out of love.

Wives, if we ask God and seek Him to make us into the wives we are to be with a meek and quiet spirit, honoring our husband and respecting him it will make a difference. He will brag about you in a good way, be more loving than you can imagine and want to be with you.

Treat him with disrespect. bossy, controlling and dishonoring and you will not only have a husband who wants to do his own thing, but you will also have to face God for not being what He intended for you to be. One other thing, it will also make your husband have to stand before God and explain why he was not the man of the house and did not rule his family well. In the end, it will fall back on you.

Pray today, that God will make you the wife He intended. Get out your Bible and find all that is in there for wives. We can all improve, but it takes relying on HIM.

Why I Married My Husband : Guest Post

WHY I MARRIED MY HUSBAND
By Saralee Perel

It seems as if God made a plan: The only creatures that will share their lives with my husband, Bob, will be very needy ones. This includes 4 cats, 2 dogs, 1 pet duck, 1 mouse and Grandpa.

Grandpa, our plain old catfish, is a perfect example of why I've been married to Bob for 30 years. We had a blight in our 29 gallon aquarium a decade ago. All the fish died except Grandpa. Bob cried, as he took his brood outside and buried them.

So 20-year-old Grandpa, who's 1 inch long, has the whole tank to himself. He needs high maintenance. His water needs constant changing and daily testing for impurities and lots of other care.

Since I, too, have needed high maintenance for several years. I've wanted to lighten Bob's load. "Sweets," I said, "I can find a good home for Grandpa."

"He already has a home."

Grant, our 19 year old pet duck, needs a lot of help. In winter, Bob keeps her warm with a heat lamp inside her coop. When the electricity goes out, the lamp won't work, so Grant spends her day in our bathtub. She's very arthritic. Everyday, Bob grinds calcium and aspirin into her food, and stays outside to make sure she eats it.

"Sweets, I can find a good home for Grant."

"She already has a home."

This season, mice come in our house for warmth. With a Hav-A-Hart mouse trap that captures them alive, Bob gets a mouse a day. Each morning I hear, "Time to take the mouse out back." I haven't suggested that it's probably the same mouse, who's unquestionably getting an enormous kick out of all this. I bet that after Bob frees him, that mouse does a quick spin and comes right back in, laughing.

Our old cat Josie, had a prognosis of 2 years, maximum, to live with treatment. On frigid winter days, Bob made the 2 hour drives to a specialist vet at Tufts, a large animal hospital in Massachusetts. This past November, she's outlived all expectations and is happily jumping around like a kitten – now over 3 years since her dire prognosis.

When Bob took her to our superb local vet, he was so joyous upon seeing her – with all her fur grown back and her nutty personality so fully re-blossomed, that he rushed out of the exam room with Josie in his arms, needing to show her off to everyone. Even the vet at Tufts was shocked, "That cat's still alive?"

I believe Josie's wellbeing is not just from treatment, but equally from Bob's love.

And then...there's me.

Five years ago, I became disabled, leaving Bob as my full-time caregiver and keeper of the house.

Each morning, when he wakes me, he is smiling throughout the routine. After putting slippers on my cold feet, he makes the room cheerful – opens the blinds, sticks a cat in my arms, calls one of the dogs to jump on the bed, puts coffee on my computer table – helps me (and whichever cat) into my chair – oh, and of course I get long loving sloppy kisses – from the dog, and then from Bob.

So – all of Bob's needy creatures, great and small, live in heaven on earth. But in reality, Bob thinks he's the one who has it better. No matter the time or place; how busy he is; how far from home he may be, he feels blessed to come rescue one of us – even if my, "Please come home," call for rescue is just to have him hold a very frightened trembling hand . . . or a paw.

I think God made a good plan.


Award-winning columnist/novelist Saralee Perel can be reached at sperel@saraleeperel.com or via her website http://www.saraleeperel.com

She will have two stories you might enjoy, in February's book release of "Chicken Soup for The Soul: Love Stories." And her novel, "Raw Nerves," is available at Amazon: Raw Nerves: A Cape Cod Comedic Thriller

Copyright 2007 Saralee Perel. Used with permission

What Do You Think?

This coming Tuesday will be my 3rd anniversary with Rick. He is my second husband and as much a blessing as the first was. I love him so dearly and never thought I could be this happy with a man again. He is funny and fun, you never know what to expect.

However, he has a big fault and I can't figure out why. So, I ask you, what would you think?

We have 8 kids between us, I brought 5 into the marriage and he brought 3. They are all precious and loved very much by both of us. We have three here in Texas where we live, one in NC and 4 in Maine. We have 17 grand kids and number 18 on the way in March. This is a problem for us seeing them all.

My husband solves this for the holidays by sending me away after Christmas. This year the kids all got together with him and bought my tickets, anniversary Tuesday, I leave Monday! Three years married and I have been sent away just before our anniversary every year! Not one anniversary together yet! Tell me, what would you think?

I really am excited about going and seeing them all again, really. I am not excited about all the snow and cold, as I am leaving 70-80 degree weather predicted for the next few days here. No coat, had to dig out boots and lug them along. But the kids! They make it worth it all.

I will be spending my anniversary with Jessica this year. How romantic. What do we have planned honey?

Now, regardless of what you think, I know why he sends me to see the kids, he loves me and this is the best Christmas present he can give. Now I just need to train him to wait till after the 8th or send me before so I am home for the 8th. Any ideas?

New Year's Eve, New Year's Day

The day is almost over and I am finally writing what I have been doing.

Last night, the last night of the year to get in all the horrahs, I spent watching TV on the couch until I fell asleep. Lest you think that was late, I think I remember seeing 9PM, but not sure. I had a weird dream that I dropped my glasses behind the couch just before my husband woke me to go to bed.

Last night was spent in dreams and trying to get the dog to stop bothering me. Apparently she had to go out, but I was not smart enough to get up and let her out. My husband stepped in it this morning when he got up. Happy New Year honey!

I got up and went to put the dog out (at 7 AM and too late) and could not find my glasses. I looked all over, but for me I need my glasses to see my glasses, so asked help from my husband. Remember last night's dream? It was no dream, he found them behind the couch! Happy New Year!

Today I went to put away my Christmas stuff and found a mouse had been dining in the closet in the spare room. My husband had a number of boxes of old mail, junk etc in the closet. It was from before we got married and I just never got around to going through it. He likes to hang on to everything, so this means going through when he is not here. Now that the mouse was making it home, I was getting rid of.

After hours on the floor sorting I ended up with three big boxes of junk and one little box of keepers. Since the mouse found it he did not argue.

Now, it is bed time again, New year's day is about over and I am wondering, if it is starting out in doggy doo and mouse doo what is the rest of the year going to be like?

Redesigning our mind

I do not know about you, but I love HGTV. Not everything, but I love the shows where they tell you how to use what you have. There are several of them, but the ones I like to watch are freecycle, Design on a Dime and Design Remix.

Freecycle they rearrange the furniture, grab furniture, pillow, sheets etc from other places and when they get done the room looks totally different than it did before, but you have spent no money.

Design Remix is a lot the same, but they spend $50 plus paint to show how to make a room look totally different.

Design on a Dime actually buys things and paint, when you come back home it is a new room. Problem is their dime is $1,000 mine is .10! However, you can get some ideas for decorating what you have.

I have a student interior decorator coming to my home as part of her class work and portfolio. She is not charging me but is helping me rearrange what I have to look better. I have bought paint (oops paint at Home Depot) and painted one wall in the room and I will need to buy knobs for the cabinets, but so far my living room looks so much better, and it was all my own stuff that I had!

Yes, it meant getting rid of some things that clutter, things I did not want to part with. It means taking some things and making them less prominent in the room, and other things more prominent. Even though for me it might be upsetting to get rid of or move things, it is much better afterwards.

I began to think of this in another way. So many of us get unhappy where we are, or with our spouse, kids or church. The situation may look bad, may be awful yet God has an answer. We fight and kick when He is trying to do the rearranging bu,t if we let Him, it will be better.

There are things in all of our lives that need to be uncluttered, moved, thrown out. I have been going through a situation here that has had me beside myself. Frustrated, upset, ready to run (no, not from my husband! ) but it took someone close to me to point out that I am here for a reason and that they can see so many changes in some others because of me. She encouraged me not to leave the situation, but to know I am being used of God in a mighty way. She told me to pray more and rest in what God is doing.

I needed to rearrange some thinking, get rid of some clutter in my mind and open my eyes to see how I am being used. I am praying for wisdom, instead of fretting. I am asking to be used more, instead of getting depressed or running.

What is your situation? Are you frustrated, negative and feeling that you wish so and so (husband, kid, etc) would straighten up? Know you are there for a reason. Work on your attitude. Work on de-cluttering your mind and ask for wisdom to be the woman of God you are meant to be.

This hurts, probably more than getting rid of the physical things in the house. We have baggage, harbored hurts etc that need to go. It is in letting God work in our lives that we can look and see how we can be used. Let Him do the rearranging, in that room in our mind as well as in the situation. He has a plan, work with Him for our families and our personal lives.

Can't beat em join em!

Many yeast ago I had , what was to me, a major problem. My late husband had a hobby that would keep him up half the night. He would yell and scream while he was doing it and I would lay in bed yelling and screaming inside.

This would go on until 2 or so in the morning, most nights and days off.

What was he doing? Playing Strat-O-Matic baseball. Now you play it by computer, back then it was cards. All the players stats are on the cards, you roll the dice and if the red came up 1,2,3 you were on the hitters card and 4,5,6 it was the pitchers card. The two white dice combined where the number under the column (1,2,3 4 etc). Hard to explain, but easy if you had the cards in front of you. Strat-O-Matic makes each players cards to their real life stats.

He was in two leagues at the time. They have their own draft and make up their own team names and played by mail back then. You sent your instructions to the guy you were playing the series with and he sent his to you.

It was, at the time, a hobby that was dividing us.

One night I was in bed grumbling away and praying about it at the same time. God answered with one phrase "If you can't beat em join em. I went downstairs and sat down and told my husband I would manage the other team. I did not know the instructions, nor what things meant but he helped me. After I was winning every game, he gave me his team to manage!

It did not take long for me to not mind the game and it actually brought us together!

If there is a hobby that is dividing you and family, get them to join, or ask him if you can join. I showed interest, tried to understand and then joined. It sure worked for me!

Till death do us part

I do hope you all had a great thanksgiving and remembered to thank the One Who has given you all things.

This post was to be up long ago today. Instead I have been trying to get up a sign up for a newsletter. I spent all day on it and still do not have it working. Frustration!

Today I have been thinking a lot about my family. I have four kids in Maine, all grown, married and parents. My oldest son has four kids, the next one down has two. My oldest daughter has two step kids and the middle daughter has five kids. All of them live in Maine. My youngest lives in North Carolina and she,too, is married and has one child. My husband's three kids are all in Texas and close. They are married and each have one child and one has a second due in March.

For me holidays are hard. I love all my children, step and ones I gave birth too. It is hard being away from most of them all the time. Money limits my seeing the ones not in Texas. Birthdays and holidays make things so hard.

One thing though, I have a wonderful husband who understands my feelings and hurtings. He loves me dearly as I do him. When I think of our vows I feel the better and I feel the worse in being away. His home was in Texas, mine was with my family. He owned his home, I was a vagabond of sorts. Moving here had it's heartaches and still does at times. However, I know I married the man God chose for me and that it is till death do us part.

So many think it is till they get tired of each other, or someone better comes along or they do not want to be married anymore. Death do us part is as long as we are living on this earth.

God does have some exception. Adultery is a reason that a marriage can be broken up and the other person have the right to remarry. However, it does not mean they have to leave the offending spouse. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing if the person means it and regains the trust and respect by proving their apology.

I also believe that abuse needs to mean a separation for the safety of the abused party. If the abuser gets counseling and is healed, than the reconciliation should happen.

Till death do us part is a wonderful promise when you are married. It is a security that living together can't give, If you are not yet married, pray for the man you will marry and that God will bring him into your life. Pray for God to direct you both and for the assurance to both of you that this is the one.

I am so happy with Rick. God led us together and gave me the assurance that even though it was a move to Texas he was the man I should marry.

Pray Pray Pray!!

Showing Love

On Wednesdays I am going to be offering some ideas that work for me in my marriage, relationship with kids or Spiritually. I am hoping that they will be of some use to some of you where you are in your life. Rocks in My Dryer has a Works for Me Wednesday and there are many ideas for doing all kinds of things, so when you are done here hop on over there for some other ideas. Since my blog is about the command in Titus 3:5, I want to keep my thoughts on this line.

I love to please my husband. I am not saying I give up all of me just to make him happy. I have opinions, I have wants, I have my unwritten "honey do" list. (Note I said unwritten. We will discuss that later.) Even when I do not feel it, I show him love. I have found it is usually the little things that mean so much.

• his favorite sandwiches, even if I do not like them and eat something else.
• encouraging him when he wants to try something, especially if is does not cost much. My husband loves books and studying. When we make a trip to Austin he likes to stop at as many half price books as he can, as well as the thrift shop book sections. I love thrift shops, so they are no problem at all, and I like books, but not as much as he does. I do not complain about the book stores, and he lets me have all the time I need in the thrift shops and fabric or hobby stores.
• "Can I get you a drink" while he is watching TV or on the computer.
• Make the bed. For my husband this was a real treat and now he makes it if I do not get it done in the morning.

Know what small things make him happy, and do them. It shows love even if you do not feel it, makes him know you are there for him and it has it's own rewards (eventually for some) for you.

Oh , Yes, the unwritten "honey do" list. Most men cringe at seeing this list on the frig, mirror in the bathroom etc. Or even knowing that every day they are off you have planned. They need down time the same as you. I have my list, but I ask him for the important thing at a time after he has had his down time, ask for him to see when he could do it and if he thinks it is a good idea. Usually after we talk, he knows it needs to be done and will find the time to do it. Not always in MY time frame (in fact almost never in MY time frame), but it gets done... eventually!

The Perfect Husband

Sometimes I just like to throw in a laugh or two. I received this link and want to share it with you. We would all love the perfect husband, well here he is!

Works for me! Enjoy!